A Different Take on Love

I have not given love a thought on any other February, except briefly on St. Valentine’s day 1991. When I was home watching television early evening eating candy from my sister’s many suitors’ gift baskets. A long-time boyfriend had broken up with me the prior December, and there I was relaxed with nothing to do but watch tv and eat expensive chocolates with beautiful balloons bobbing all around our bedroom. I remember feeling good and knowing that I was feeling good despite not having a boyfriend nor a date. I was feeling really good about my day. Now I realize that I was feeling comfortable and love all within my own self.

Love is being a safe place.

Feeling good in our own company provides us that safe place that every one of us needs. A peaceful- I like you, and love having you here – is worth so much. It stops the hunger of looking for others to validate our existence with their love. You have seen yourself and you find yourself good company to be with. If this is you, oh, a big hug, and I am so happy for you. That is wonderful. If you haven’t yet, I encourage you to start noticing all of your good qualities; look into your heart, and fall in love with it.

You are to enjoy yourself and see yourself grow. Be excited about you and your day with you. Are you perfect? No, you are not. None of us are. But leave the criticism for the chickens to peck. That is not for you to do.

Love is a place of acceptance and inclusion.

Accepting ourselves is love. Take a look at these definitions from the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

Definition of accept: to receive (something offered) willingly; to give admittance or approval to.

Definition of include: to take in or comprise as part of a whole or group; to contain between or within.

We all know that when we feel included, we feel accepted. And that feels good.

Accepting ourselves is including ourselves within our own being. When I accept myself, I take myself in and am whole. The alternative is to not accept myself – to reject myself; therefore, be fragmented. By not including all that is me, I am not allowing myself to be whole. That is harsh. Yet, most of us have not been accepting of ourselves in countless ways.

When we include someone, we present them with open-hearted love and create a sense of wholeness in that relationship. Be it accepting them into our family or accepting them to share a table at a busy café (pre-pandemic times, of course). There is no love in rejecting, be it our own selves or others.

Being a sweet water well

Let’s allow our hearts to be a loving place, a sweet water well. Where we replenish ourselves and can be of comfort for others by our example that this way can be lived. Don’t underestimate the power of being gentle with yourself and others. What we are full of is what will overflow from us. I want to be a sweet water well. A safe place where I and others feel refreshed, satiated, cooled or warmed, welcomed, loved, with joy and some laughter. A place where the soul feels comfort, ease, and the sweetness of life can be felt.

Can we love ourselves like that? Can we be that for our own selves? Can we not criticize others nor ourselves? Not reject, but include? Be a place of grace in our space—a place of kindness?

Many times, it is easier to show and give our love to others than to ourselves. Can you imagine how different our love for others would be if we had the firm, easy conviction, and emanation of our self-love?

Love your life

Your mission is to love your life. What does that even mean, to love my life? This is what it means to me: To feel myself at this moment. To be aware of this precise moment with a sense of appreciation and opportunity.

There have always been problems in the world. Serious problems, you name it, have existed forever. People can point out to all those and more, but the question to you is – is that what you want to focus on?

Do you prefer to feel bad because you have a clean home with running water when millions of others do not? We can quickly boggle ourselves down with the world’s problems as we can rise within what is good around us and within us. When you are entirely in your present moment, you can appreciate the goodness that you are experiencing right now. And when you start to really look at all the good you have with genuine appreciation; you start loving your life more and more. As your heart fills up with small joys, laughter– your cup will runneth over with love and gratitude and with the desire to help lift others as well.

We can help a lot by just being in peace, by not spreading unkindness, bitterness, nor hate. Again, what we are full of, is what will overflow from us. Look into your heart and find the wonderful in you and bring it all up to spill over. Let your wonderful be what overflows from you, for your sake and the world.

Maybe you just see a lack in you. But I can tell you with certainty that if the only thing you had going for you is that you are a kind person, where if you died, the only thing people would say over and over would be, “She was a kind person.” “You know, she was such a kind person.” “He was the kindest man I ever met.” “Such a kind person.” That would be amazing. A kind person is someone who is giving love every time they are giving kindness.

It means this person is living a loving life. An action that becomes a definitive quality of a life. You go from loving life to living a loving life.

A loving life is a peaceful life.

Love is not only a blessing emanating from us, but it brings blessings to life.

If we are full of love and feel wholeness within – what would come out of us for our children? Our spouses? Our family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, acquaintances, strangers? Everyone would become a significant other who is a part of our life.

We can be a place of kindness – a place of grace.

This February, I am grateful for all the kindness I have had shared with me throughout this lifetime. From family, teachers, classmates, friends, neighbors, clerks at stores, professionals, co-workers throughout companies, mentors (who had no idea I was observing them and learning). For all of those who shared a table with me or a book they loved. For all the people who shared a smile so we would be strangers no more.

A big hug for you my friend. Wishing you a lovely day.

Militsa

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