A few months ago, I came across this quote:
“I just want to say thank you to the few people in my life who have listened without judgment and loved me without conditions. You are so special to me.” A Higher Perspective Pin -Unknown
This really made an impression on me. I had never thought about this in such a straightforward manner as this person expressed.
We all know about the no judging rule but do we really practice it with sincere kindness? Have we experienced it? There is a high degree of generosity of heart in this. The effects of not judging/not being judged can only have extraordinary effects on our relationships.
Upon reading this quote, I looked into what my experience was with non-judgment. I found that I non-judgmentally listen to whatever my son has to say because I am interested in his days, his thoughts. I am curious about what he thinks about and how he comes around to these ideas. I am interested in witnessing his growth, his evolving. I am not spending thought on judging because I am listening to understand him and his point of view. It is a mix of respect and unequivocal acceptance. He often may not agree with my logic on a topic or decision (which he lets me know), but he understands and trusts where I am coming from. That is partly a result of the trust and goodwill that non-judgment helped build.
What we could be building within our families and communities upon giving wholeheartedly a sense of acceptance of others. When we are non-judgmental, we are observers, not making decisions on how it should be said, done, or thought. With this, we are giving ourselves and the other person a breathing space of goodwill between us.
I can start by listening simply because I am interested in understanding. To listen with an open heart and a quiet mind sounds like a fair start for me.
What are your thoughts on this?